Camping Casualities
by Sakura Sango
Summary: Summary inside- based on our wild and wacky trip. Come and see 'Tarzan' the attacking Santa Mug and much more.


This story is a pathetic attempt of mine to do a good grammar humor fic. So please feel free to tell me how it really is. Thank you.

Camping Casulities

By: Saka (SakuraSango)

Rated: G

Summary: _**Your attention please**- this story that you are about to read is somewhat true. _

Ok this is based on our trip to Patagonia. If you do not know what it's like there feel free to imagine a place that has a lake, lots of trees, steep banks and sharp rocks, a camping ground, public showers, animals, a small store, a rangers station on a steep, steep hill, and cactus (TONS OF THEM).

Also all the events that do not include spirit attacks (gun, sword, ect.), or sword slashing, or Hiei running through the trees is 100 true, scouts honor. This was our trip. Believe me boys are funny when they are taken away from the TV and placed in the wilds.

Warning- the characters may seem out of character, and there is mild Kurama bashing (don't kill me)

X-X-X-

Botan and Kuwabara were sitting in the back seat of the van. Their eyes gleaming brightly. "Three, two, one... Are we there Yet!!"

Yusuke lurched forward in the drivers seat. If he heard that one more time he would bash them. With a vein on his forehead popping out he carefully tried to continue driving.

Kurama who had been trying to sleep jumped when the two had shouted. Grumbling he pulled the sheet over his head desperate for more sleep.

Hiei and Yukina, who were busy at the moment and getting closer to each other every second, did not notice the sheet leaving their laps. Hiei groaned lightly and bit his lower lip as Yukina got closer. Smiling Yukina whispered something into Hiei's ear. She laughed when she saw his expression. Screaming on the top of his lungs Hiei threw his pencil almost hitting Keiko in the head. He had just lost his tenth game of tic-tac-toe to Yukina.

Kurama jumped again as Hiei screamed. Grumbling even more he dug deeper into the seat. For a few minutes everything was quiet.

'_Ah, peace and quiet at last..._'

"Are we there Yet!!"

'_Or maybe not._'

Yusuke glared at the trouble makers through the rear view mirror.

Botan and Kuwabara jumped and tried to act innocent. Namely, Botan stared at a stain on the ceiling with interest. It looked kind of like the chocolate pudding that Hiei had thrown at her soon after catching Botan attempting to see how many pencils she could stick in his hair. What a shame too. She had gotten up to 15, an all new record, when he turned. But if that was what it was, wow, what a strong arm he had.

Oh yes and Kuwabara, what did he do to act innocent. Well he decided that this was a perfect time for a sudden nap. He sat straight up in the seat snoring on the top of his lungs, "zzzz, memememe, zzzz, imasleep, zzz dontlookatme, iminnocent..."

Yusuke rolled his eyes as he pulled up to the ranger station. Thank god they were finally here. Now soon, oh so soon, he would be able to kick them out of this van.

After paying for a week he started to drive around to try to find a camping place.

"Are we there Yet!!"

Yusuke screeched to a halt, which was not to bad since he was going about 25 mph, but you get the idea. Putting the car in park he jumped out and ran five feet away. There in the middle of the road he waited for silence.

Kurama was more then annoyed now. So much for any kind of nap. Three hours of listening to them could make anyone go insane. Rising up he faced the back of the van, taking the rest of the sheet which went unnoticed by his seat partners, who were once again in another challenging match of tic-tac-toe. "Would you two please shut your traps long enough for us to get to a spot!!"

Kuwabara stared wide eyed at the sheet covered Kurama. After a few moments of his mind toiling over every possible scenario for this, he shouted the most reasonable explanation he had, "AHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!! It's a ghost!!!"

Yusuke rolled his eyes as he listened to the commotion from the street. He heard Kuwabara yelling something about calling the Ghostbusters, Hiei yell at Yukina that she had to be cheating- something about how it was impossible to win at eleven games, Yukina swearing that she was not cheating, Kurama yelling at everyone to just shut up, Botan telling about how she was going to tell about the pudding stain on the ceiling, and Keiko trying to quiet everyone down.

Finally after a few minutes of dodging cars, truck, vans, motor homes, and a demented granny in her scooter Yusuke slowly walked to the van. At least everything was quiet inside...

"I'll teach ya ghost for trying to eat us like you did to Kurama. Spirit Flyswatter!"

Or not.

Yusuke watched in horror as the van glowed yellow. From within he heard, "rose whip." Yusuke watched a lightning storm erupt from within as the two battled. After one last huge boom everything quieted down enough for Yusuke to get in the badly scorched minivan. Seats that used to be a light blue were now black as was just about every thing and one else.

---

Driving through the long rows of camping sights Yusuke cursed under his breath. This whole place was filled and how he had wished for a place close to the lake.

In the back seat Botan and Kuwabara, who had sworn that they would not say, "Are we there yet" had found a new, yet equally annoying, hobby. They sat in the back seat and shouted, "one bad word, two bad words, three bad words, four bad words..." Smiling they jumped on the seat.

Finally after a total of 100 bad words, five broken seat springs, and twenty threats on Botan and Kuwabara's lives- they finally found an open space. And lucky for Yusuke it was close to the water.

Eager to get out of the van, Kurama took to the sun roof. He pushed and pulled himself through the sun roof. On the top of the van he gave a victorious thumbs up. Or that was until he went to get down. The belt loop on his jeans grabbed a tiny antenna which was on top of the van. After struggling and pulling the belt loop snapped enabling Kurama to land gracefully on the ground- er, on his back. But hey it was still graceful I mean he didn't fall, or stumble or anything. He just landed and stuck his landing.

Yusuke, who had watched the entire incident, just rolled his eyes and walked away.

Kurama stood up and dusted himself off and gracefully just strolled away- er, um actually he limped away, I mean falling on your back and landing on a hard ground, ouch.

After ten minutes of screaming, fighting, and cursing under breaths the trailer was even. Or it was until someone walked in it, sneezed, or even breathed. Unfortunately Kurama found out about this. Desperate for a nap he pushed everyone out and locked the door. Ah, how quiet it was. And perfectly straight too. Which was a good thing with all of the dangerous coffee cups that lay on the counter.

Kurama's eyes started to water. Darn that house keeper Keiko, she stirred up all the dust while digging through the cabinets. Oh no Kurama's nose started to tickle.

**Aaaachooo!!!**

Kurama sneezed one of his biggest sneezes.

The leg of the trailer, which was rocks and wood- because the real leg was missing, shifted and the trailer feel a few inches to the right. Just enough to make the coffee cups fly off the counter. A Santa mug hit Kurama on the head.

"I'll see you in hell!!" Kurama shouted tossing the mug out of a open window (thanks to the house keeper Keiko). Staring out the window Kurama almost swore he could see the Santa shake his fist at the fox demon. Shaking his head he went to the bed and finally, after four hours of trying, fell asleep.

X-X-X-

Out by the lake everything was going great. Yusuke had decided to take his out all of his anger by torturing tiny fish.

"Hey Kiek how's about a contest. See who can catch more fish me or you?"

Keiko nodded lightly, "Ok your on."

X-X-X-

Botan and Kuwabara ran around the bank trying to find clams. Or so that was the initial plan.

Kuwabara stood right next to the water his feet just barely touching it. His left hand was digging through the ice cold water. He was sure that he had seen a few in the dirt.

Giggling Botan snuck up behind Kuwabara and pushed him in. Then she ran away before he could pound her.

Coughing Kuwabara sprang out of the water. God it was cold. Running as fast as he could Kuwabara ran for the trailer. He had to get out of these wet clothes.

Just a few more feet.

5 feet.

4

3

2

1

**_Boom!!_**

He was there.

Kuwabara whacked into the door full force (A/n- a common- supposedly- fun hobby with my bros). Rubbing his head he glared at the door. How dare the door not open. Plopping himself on the ground Kuwabara started to think of a perfect plan to get the door to open.

X-X-X-

Well after 5 broken lines, 4 lost hooks, 43 bad words and several thousand nibbles; the score between the two _expert _fishers was:: Yusuke- 0, Keiko- 0.

Yusuke stared at Keiko's line as she squealed in excitement as her bobber jumped around. '_No she can't catch a fish._' Disbelief filled his brown eyes as she pulled out a blue gill.

"YES! The first catch is mine." Getting up from her seat the girl started a weird- and in some ways _scary_, victory dance. Keiko threw her arms up in the air waving them in tiny circles while shifting her feet to the left then to the right. Then she jumped facing Yusuke, starting a dance that almost looked like the Macarena.

X-X-X-

-Later that day-

(yes we're doing a time jump unless u truly wanna see more of Keiko's victoy dance >.>)

Keiko walked up with a huge smile on her face. She had caught 50 fishes so far and it was only the first day.

Yusuke, however, was mad at the world and it showed on his face. Growling he threw his fishing pole across the lot.

Kuwabara sat staring at the door. So far he had pounded at the door, kicked it, threatened it and tried to scare it but to no avail. That blasted door just would not open. He was still in his wet clothes freezing cold and the sun had started to dip behind the tall mountains. Could it possible get any worse? Kuwabara was pretty sure it could not.

**Whack!!**

But apparently it could. Yusuke's fishing rod flew across the lot hitting the freezing carrot top square on the head.

A high pitched girly scream echoed from the camping ground as Kuwabara fell. There was so much pain, and something was horribly wrong.

X-X-X-

Ok so here's the first chapter. I'm not that great at humor fics so if this isn't popular then it may be updated very little- though I will finish it no matter what.

Anyways as always please flame or review. Notice I placed the 'flame' first, such confidence -.-

For more amusing antics are to come. Believe me there's more great stuff to come. I mean there's still 'Tarzan.' Well to see more of the camping trip just give me two reviews. Believe me it was one of our most adventurous trips ever.


End file.
